Journals
August
The school year has started well and has been going well so far. Capstone has been both a scary and exciting experience. Before my senior year, I have known about Capstone, and I always wondered what I would do, but I never came up with ideas. It was early August and in the morning when Mrs. Boutilier sent a message in google classroom introducing herself and Capstone. She mentioned specific examples of Capstone projects that were available, one of which being to work with Hartford Parks and Recreation. I viewed this as an opportunity to get a headstart on my Capstone and I immediately emailed Mrs. Boutilier that same morning. Mrs. Boutilier explained to us that our Capstone would help us grow, and I already felt like I was growing by taking initiative and being responsible. I was excited when I got a response from her and she then connected me with Donna Swarr, the president of Friends at Colt Park. Donna was glad that I responded so quickly to her call for help and she sent me an email detailing an event in October that she wanted help with. As time went on, Donna and I, along with Mrs. Boutilier’s help, eventually arranged a meeting to discuss my Capstone. I was glad that I was getting such a headstart on my Capstone. However, I was nervous about the meeting because I believe that I am not good at talking with people. Emails are easy for me because there is no quick and direct communication. Calling people and meeting with them is a bit harder for me. I get nervous, sometimes I say things wrong, and sometimes I don’t even know what to say. It was Thursday, September 9th when I met Donna. I explained to her that my idea was to plant trees because I was interested in helping the environment. She loved it and I felt a bit relieved. She told me about how the species of trees and location are important when planting and that there are many regulations and guidelines. She said that instead of organizing my own event for planting trees, it was better to join an already existing organization that is dedicated to planting trees. She told me about the Knox Foundation’s plan to plant 500 trees before November 15th. She also gave me the contact information of the foundation’s executive director, Patrick Doyle, the tree commissioner, Jack Hale, and the city forester, Heather Dionne. We also discussed my research question and she provided me with tons of information about data and studies that can help me create my question. She talked about getting air quality data from the health department and about how transportation on I-84 and I-91 are major contributors to air pollution. The meeting went great and now I feel more confident since I went out of my comfort zone. However, I received so much information and I felt a bit overwhelmed. After the meeting, I paused on my Capstone, and I wasn’t making any moves for about a week. I started to get worried about if my project was actually going to work or not. That next week, the proposal was due. I started to get my act together and started working again. I finished my proposal and I even emailed Patrick Doyle. I am currently waiting for a response from Patrick Doyle and gathering volunteers to help with Donna’s event in October. I had a little bump in the road, but I persevered, and that is what counts. Other than Capstone there hasn’t been much else going on. I like all my classes and they haven’t been assigning too much work, which I am happy about. I am also playing soccer right now. After practice, I take a shower and then I eat, so I end up starting my work a bit late. This doesn’t leave me much time to relax, and if I do, I end up going to sleep pretty late. Sometimes I get stressed, but if I do, I end up meditating as my mom has taught me. It really helps and relaxes me. I love that Mrs. Boutilier has us do meditation on Mondays. Sometimes I wish we could do it every morning in her class. I am looking forward to the rest of the school year, working on my Capstone, and writing my next journal entry.
September
This month has been going okay. In terms of Capstone, I would say I am on track. I finally helped Donna with the Colt Park Reopening Celebration on October 3rd and that went really well. I also had a meeting with Craig, the field operations manager for the Knox Foundation. He talked about the history of the Knox Foundation and how they work to plant trees. He told me that he could get me to join one of these days to observe and help out with planting trees. We also discussed spreading awareness for trees because of the tons of benefits they provide to cities like Hartford, which is what I will be focusing my research paper on. Craig and I will continue to meet in the near future, so I have to prepare and get some more research done before then. I am also in the process of writing my research paper and I just finished my introduction paragraph. There is one last update on my Capstone which surprisingly came at the very last moment today. Mrs. Rubelmann sent me an email about an opportunity to work with an organization called Tree-Plenish. It is a college student-run organization that works with high schools to plant trees according to their school’s paper consumption. The organization offers mentorship during the process and Mrs. Rubelmann mentioned that it could be picked up as part of my Capstone. I told her that I definitely will work with them and that I am eager to learn more. In terms of the college admissions process, I feel like I have been slacking off. To this day I have not finished my college essay. I started one day by writing down ideas, but I have never gotten farther than that. I had my meeting with Mrs. Dionne recently and it went great. We talked about the colleges I am thinking of applying to and important things to note when doing so. We also talked about the college essay and she told me that the reason I could be putting it off is because I am overthinking it. I think she is right because when I think of college essay, I am thinking of those long boring essay assignments that I have done for classes, but Mrs. Dionne says that writing the college essay should not be stressful and it should be a fun experience. Although I believe I have been working hard so far this year, I also believe that I have been lazy sometimes, as I have said before, so I plan on setting goals. Part of this is also setting reminders and due dates, not just for school assignments, but for any kind of senior year assignment. I think this way I can be more organized, which I usually am not. By being more organized I believe that I will be able to finish my work and not be as lazy. Overall, I think I am growing this year, more specifically, I am maturing. I am taking charge and changing my attitude towards the work that has to be done. I realize that the adult world is much different than the world that I have been living in, so I am preparing for it now. There was a quote that Mrs. Boutilier had on the board that I really liked which said, “Change before you have to.” I look forward to the rest of my senior year with excitement and confidence.
October
Quarter 1 went by pretty fast I guess. I got a lot of stuff done, but there is still a lot more to do. I started off my Capstone pretty well, but I think it needs some work. I have done well with assignments like the proposal and research paper, but I need more work in the field work part of the project. I hear students talking about how they are doing field work everyday after school or every week, and so far I have only done the October 3rd event with Donna, so I am a bit worried. However, I did send out emails to Donna and Craig from the Knox Foundation, updating them on my Capstone project, so I think that was good. On the other hand, there’s the college process. I have been doing good with the college process and have been ahead of my peers, but I think I could have and could be doing better. I started my college essay really late and should have started it way earlier. I have a college list, but I didn’t put much research into each and every college, so the list isn’t very solid and needs work. There’s also scholarships that I am planning to apply for, but I haven’t started any of them. However, I did end up sending my application to UConn and completed the process for the Day of Pride scholarship, which is a full ride. Although I believe that I made a good amount of progress this quarter, I also believe that I could have and should have done a lot more. The reason for this is my procrastination, which I realize has become a major issue this year. I get all my work done for all my classes and to the best of my ability, but I always leave them for the last minute, causing unnecessary stress. I believe that this is in part because of the whole year I spent at home with virtual learning last year. I realize and acknowledge that I have this issue, but it’s been really hard for me to fix it. I just hope that I can change before I have to. Lastly, the field trip was very fun. Usually I prefer to do class assignments by myself instead of working as a group, but when I was told about this team building activity field trip, I was eager to jump at the opportunity to work with my friends, so I guess I like to work with others more than I thought.
November
I am slowly but surely progressing in Capstone. I finally helped the Knox Foundation plant trees. The foundation only works on weekdays, so the day that I was finally able to help them was on Veteran’s Day, which I had off from school. I am still trying to see if I can go help during school hours. Winter is approaching, so soon they will be stopping their projects, but hopefully they will have more once spring comes. Aside from the Knox Foundation, there is also my work with Tree-Plenish. So far, I selected the date of the tree planting event and set the tree goal. The goal of Tree-Plenish is to offset your school’s paper usage. I talked with Ms. Martin the other day and found that SMSA orders 75 boxes of paper every year, which according to Tree-Plenish’s conversions, can be balanced by planting about 38 trees. I was told by Tree-Plenish that the average tree planting goal of other schools is 220, so they asked me to consider increasing my goal. I talked with Craig Margins on the phone the other day and communicated this information with him. He told me that I should be talking to the city forester, Heather Dionne, and he gave me her contact information. He said that she decides where trees are planted across the city and what kind. I will communicate with her soon and I hope everything can go well with this event. I planned it later in the Spring, like Craig told me I should, for Saturday, April 23rd, 2022. I also realized that the day right before is Earth Day, so I imagined that I could maybe tie an Earth Day event in with it in some form. I actually talked with my mentor Donna about this about a month ago. This all seems like so much, and although it is a few months from now, I am still feeling a bit stressed. The other thing that has me stressed is college applications. I just realized that December is pretty much the last month to be submitting applications for most colleges and I only have 3 sent. I also haven’t been looking at scholarships yet and a few of those are due in December as well. I’m not sure how I feel about all of this. I really want to go to college, learn, get a job, and be successful, but I am barely putting any work in right now. I have been procrastinating a lot, the very thing that I wanted to change, so I feel like I am not growing as much. I have grown a little bit with Capstone by taking initiative with projects and things like that, but aside from that, I feel like my growth in senior year has been stagnant. I don’t mean to think so pessimistically, but I just feel like it's important to change my habits and I am struggling to do that now. I hope that this changes, that I change, that I start putting in the work now so that I can achieve my dreams.
December
I am at the midpoint of my final year in high school. It really flew by and I didn’t believe it. In a few short months, my journey into the adult world begins. Everything I have done so far has prepared me for this moment. “Wow” is really all I can say. I am not sure what I feel, but I know I should feel happy, excited, and proud. This year has definitely been a difficult one for me with new challenges. I am recognizing them, but I am having some trouble beating them. I believe that I will be prepared for the adult world, but I have to prove it to myself. I know I say it a lot, but my biggest issue is procrastination. It really has become a problem, especially this year. I’d like to blame it on the pandemic, but that won’t help solve anything. I believe that this is the only thing that is holding me back from being ready, from being prepared. December was the toughest month due to college applications. I started the school year and college process strong, but I noticed a period during November where all my work just stopped. When I finally got back on track, I noticed that there wasn’t much time. Finishing the applications was one of the most stressful times of my life, and it was because I procrastinated. Luckily, I had support from Mrs. Dionne all the way and I thanked her for that. Still, I wouldn’t have had such a stressful time if I hadn’t procrastinated. I just want to stress the importance of breaking this habit and if I were to give advice to future seniors, I would tell them to work on breaking this habit as soon as possible. I’ve heard from some college students myself that time management is one of, if not the most important thing you need in college. I hope that I change, but that isn’t enough. I need to remind myself of my goals, my future, what I want to achieve so I can change before I have to. However, it isn’t good to always focus on the negative. There’s always something good to think about or to share and Mrs. Boutilier reminds us of that at the beginning of every class. One of the greatest things to happen to me that still shocks me to this day is my Day of Pride scholarship at UConn. UConn is an amazing school and I have a full ride to it. Now I know that no matter what happens, I will have a great and safe option after high school. I am proud of myself because all of my hard work up until this point has helped me to be in this position. I finally have my event date set up with Tree-Plenish. I haven’t had much of an impact other than helping Donna Swarr and the Knox Foundation, but I feel like aside from Capstone, I have made an impact by helping my friends. Throughout this year I’ve noticed that I’ve been recently helping my friends out in any way that I could and I’ve been enjoying it. I enjoy helping others with their Calculus homework or with writing a paper, which has caused me to think about what I might want to do in the future. Overall, I think the school year has been great. I definitely have things to work on and the ability to improve. As long as I keep in mind what I am working for, I know that I will succeed.
January
January is the start of the new year, but for me, it was a reminder of the end of my senior year. I am halfway through the year and the few months since the beginning of the school year went by pretty quickly, so I know that these next few months before the end of my year will pass by quickly as well. Looking at my fieldwork right now, it doesn’t look like I have much done. So far I have helped my mentor Donna Swarr with the Colt Park Grand Reopening Celebration, helped Craig Mergins and the Knox Foundation plant two trees, and successfully planned my tree planting event in April with the organization Tree-Plenish. I have a lot ahead of me to do. I plan to work more with Craig in the future. I haven’t been able to work with him as much because much of the tree planting the foundation does is on weekdays when I am in school. I am reaching out to him to see if there is a possibility to work with him more in the spring and to see if there is anything else I can help with besides planting trees. With Donna I am thinking about possibly organizing an Earth Day event at Colt Park, but I am not sure if I will do so as I am already planning my tree planting event with Tree-Plenish. I am still uncertain of the “whos”, the “whats”, the “wheres”, and the “hows” of the event, but as of right now I know that the event will take place on Saturday, April 23, 2022. My goal was set to 38 trees and with an Environmental Equity Fund that was given to me by Tree-Plenish, all those trees are free. I have a website that I will use to market my event. On that website, information about me, the event, the trees being planted, how to order trees, and how to volunteer is posted. Tree-Plenish also has urban mentors that can help me with my event, so I plan to get in touch with one of them. As I gain more information about this event I will update Donna, Craig, and also our city forester Heather Dionne. I believe that this is all a lot for me, but I don’t feel discouraged. I know that this is a challenge and that this will help me grow, which is what Capstone is meant to do. I just hope that everything will go well. I have a lot of support from many people around me so I have a good feeling that it will.
February
The second semester finished and this meant that I will not be going to Boutilier’s class every day and receiving reminders from her every day about working on Capstone. I found that because of this, I have lost motivation to work towards my Capstone. I believe that I relaxed a bit too much, but I believe that this was because I was only imagining my tree planting event in April, which I felt was a long time away. There’s work to do but it seems so hard to start. I continue to procrastinate and I struggle to start work. However, I reminded myself of the beginning of my Capstone, of how I challenged myself to take charge and become more independent. I remembered that I am the one that started this project, the one that will move it forward, and the one who will finish it. I am still worried about the future, but I decided to take one small step. I have been currently in touch with Craig to schedule some time to call him. I want to update him about my project and talk about what could be done now to move my project forward. There are several other people I have to get in touch with, such as Donna and our city forester, Heather Dionne. I am starting to feel like my project is moving, or is going to be moving forward. I am starting to see the steps I need to take to reach my end goal. I am slowly but surely regaining my motivation and I am happy about it. I just hope everything goes well, including this call with Craig. I think it is what I will need to boost my project forward.